Banter Gameweek 9 · real events only, lovingly weaponised · tap Copy, paste into the group chat
Ashley Ashley's Team
Ashley's Team fell from 9 to 11 this week. Descending with real commitment.
Ashley's Team fell from 9 to 11 this week.
Ashley captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Verbruggen scored 11 without the armband. The armband is not a fashion accessory, Ashley.
Ashley captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Verbruggen scored 11 without the armband.
Ashley left Havertz on the bench; he scored 9. Managed him straight onto the bench. Elite decision making.
Ashley left Havertz on the bench; he scored 9.
Estefani Haalandaise Sauce FC
Estefani (Haalandaise Sauce FC) sold Thiago before this gameweek; Thiago has 9 points in it. Some people pay for entertainment; Estefani funds ours weekly.
Estefani (Haalandaise Sauce FC) sold Thiago before this gameweek; Thiago has 9 points in it.
Estefani captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Van Hecke scored 15 without the armband. A bold strategy. Let us see if it pays off. (It did not.)
Estefani captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Van Hecke scored 15 without the armband.
Estefani left Florentino on the bench; he scored 8. The bench is for resting players, Estefani, not for hiding your best one.
Estefani left Florentino on the bench; he scored 8.
Damien Damo FC
Damien captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Van Hecke scored 15 without the armband. Captaincy by coin toss again, Damien?
Damien captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Van Hecke scored 15 without the armband.
Damien left Verbruggen on the bench; he scored 11. Managed him straight onto the bench. Elite decision making.
Damien left Verbruggen on the bench; he scored 11.
Lewis Stranger Mings
Lewis captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Van Hecke scored 15 without the armband. The armband is not a fashion accessory, Lewis.
Lewis captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Van Hecke scored 15 without the armband.
Lewis left De Cuyper on the bench; he scored 9. Managed him straight onto the bench. Elite decision making.
Lewis left De Cuyper on the bench; he scored 9.
Hiten Pending Moderation
Hiten captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Van Hecke scored 15 without the armband. A bold strategy. Let us see if it pays off. (It did not.)
Hiten captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Van Hecke scored 15 without the armband.
Katie Hooligans Utd
Katie captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Konsa scored 10 without the armband. A bold strategy. Let us see if it pays off. (It did not.)
Katie captained Haaland (2 points) while their own Konsa scored 10 without the armband.
Harpinder Pending Moderation
Harpinder left Rudoni on the bench; he scored 9. Managed him straight onto the bench. Elite decision making.
Harpinder left Rudoni on the bench; he scored 9.
House rule: all of it is drawn from things that genuinely happened, and none of it is meaner than a Monday morning by the kettle.